Bad hair day
by kimerakeepdr
Summary: My 1st fic... Random hair related incidents in the Yu Gi Oh world! Includes me making fun of Yamis hair (Don't kill me!) and Anzu bashing if I can fit any in.
1. Default Chapter

This is my 1st fic and it is about the random events of the Yu Gi Oh world Warning all of my fics are gonna be like that and I have a very immature sense of humour.... ^'^+ PLEASE review Be nice I'm too young to be flamed!!!! I don't own Yu Gi Oh. Heck, the computer I'm typing on isn't even mine.....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It was a lovely sunny day and a spiky haired 5000 year old spirit was walking down to  
  
the chemist for his weekly hair gel bonanza.  
  
"Hello Malik old chum" he said as he entered 'Ishtars' the local chemist.  
  
"Hello Pharoah Yami you seem unusually cheerful this morning" said the white  
  
haired boy at the counter.  
  
"Thats right, I'm here for my weekly hair gel!" said Yami. "Oh and I'd also like  
  
some rare and exotic mints and some...birth control pills," he said after a little  
  
thought.  
  
Malik handed some polos over the counter but paused at the second request.  
  
"BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!!!" he yelled.  
  
"Yeah I like the taste" explained Yami.  
  
"Oh. Oh yeah I do too" said Malik, who had been hoping that Yami had finally got  
  
himself a girlfriend.  
  
"So where's my hairgel?" asked Yami.  
  
"Well actually..we don't have any."  
  
"WHAT????"  
  
"Well... some Hondas came in earlier.."  
  
"How many?"  
  
(Yami knew that Honda had recently gone into a clonimg machine and accidentily  
  
cloned himself 30 million times. And if each clone needed 2 pots of hair gel a day  
  
that made... Yamis brain nearly exploded.)  
  
"They took my entire stocks of hair gel, dog hair gel, bike grease and even the pizza  
  
grease!" said Malik gloomily.  
  
Yami resisted the temptation to hit Malik over the head with the millenium rod- for  
  
about 2 seconds. Then he stormed out leaving a very dazed Malik behind him.  
  
Out of total gloom he opened the packet of pills and ate every single one. (Always  
  
read the label Yami!!!!!!!!!!!!. Overdose can cause hallucinations and other personal  
  
problems Yami didn't want me to mention here...)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Okay its really REALLY bad I know Please review and tell me what u think Yami- WHAT IS THIS CRAP!!!! (Nothing like a bit of encouragement to boost my ego, thanks Yami). I demand you make me more cool!!!!!  
  
Kimera- Oh shut up Yami go capture some Hondas or something  
  
Yami- I can't, when you try to catch them they sprout machine guns in odd places!!!!!  
  
Kimera- Oh that explains all the bullet holes in your hair  
  
Yami- All the WHAT???? 


	2. Yami's hallucination episode one

HELLOOOO!!! I am back with more of my stupid hair story! Thanx to all my reviewing people, I LOVE U!!! OK I'm hyper no point in denying it. Must get on with writing before I injure myself or this computer which still is not mine.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The next thing Yami knew he was in one of those really clean hairdsessing salons,  
  
and there was a mysterious female stranger in a mask standing behind him with  
  
worryingly enormous pair of scissors aimed directly at his hair.  
  
"NO!!! NO!!! NOT THE HAIR!!!" Yami yelped. He put his hand up to his head.  
  
"What? Ketchup... chips...cockroaches???!!!"  
  
"Oh that... well your head seems to have come into contact with my lunch at some  
  
stage" said the stranger. "You don't mind if I...." She carefully removed one of the  
  
chips and chewed happily. "Shame to waste all that ketchup though..."  
  
"STOP LICKING MY HAIR!!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry. Bleech, your hair tastes completely of hairgel!! When did you last  
  
wash it??"  
  
Yami thought. He knew people often had strange, foreign views on hair washing, so  
  
he decided it was a bad idea to be truthful and say '2000 years, if you don't count  
  
annoying rain and Jou's hosepipe!!!!'  
  
"Many moons ago" he said, hoping it sounded suitably mysterious and not too  
  
disgusting.  
  
"MANY MOONS AGO?!! It's rock solid!!" A loud knocking sound filled the room.  
  
"You need a serious styling session!"  
  
"But I don't want a serious styling session!!!! Who are you anyway?? (Finally, I  
  
thought Yami would never ask that!!)  
  
"I'm your imagenery stylist!! Here only when you get pissed off at Malik and eat too  
  
many birth control pills! Very nice hallucination, by the way" she said, looking  
  
around appreciatly. "Much better than the last one I was in"  
  
"Whose was that?"  
  
"Oh, it was one of Anzu's friendship hallucinations, she gets them all the time.  
  
They're all pink and frilly and urrrggghh! This is much better!" she said happily.  
  
"But its really clean!" said Yami.  
  
"Oh no it isn't, didn't you see the sign? You are in the squalor salon, hair mutilation a  
  
speciality!"  
  
"How do I make you disappear??" said Yami urgently.  
  
"You can't," said the stranger, flicking off the lights. "You see, there's no escape  
  
from this hallucination!!!"  
  
* Yu Gi Oh logo goes across screen! * * Advert break *  
  
* Bakura's face appears! * Bakura- Have you tried Maliks new brand of hairgel, It's totally mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
Apparently the squashed Egyptian locust guts really make your hair rock hard, and the  
  
effects will make you so happy you will never need to eat thoses horrible pills  
  
again!!! Easily stolen from Maliks dressing table, yes, he has a dressing table,  
  
everyone laugh. Now I have to go kill someone, bye!!!"  
  
* Yu GI Oh logo thing*  
  
"WHY DOES MY HALLUCINATION HAVE ADVERT BREAKS???!!!!!"  
  
"Shut up Yami, you're talking over the bit that says what happened before the break!"  
  
said the stranger, hoping Yami wouldn't get too violent, his eyes were swirling  
  
dangerously.  
  
"WELL??? WHY??!!!"  
  
"Well the company payed me a lot, and y'know, the floor won't re-tile itself....."  
  
She took advantage of Yami being speechless with rage to dunk his head into a bowl  
  
of acid.  
  
"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Now this may sting a bit" said the stranger soothingly. "Its just to melt the hairgel.  
  
But don't worry, this eases the pain!" She poured some liquid into the acid.  
  
"Aaaaahhh" said Yami in relief.  
  
The stranger looked at Yami in dismay. What remained of his hair had suddenly gone  
  
bright blue.  
  
"Oh no! He's gonna kill me with his rare Egyptian magic!!!" thought the stranger in  
  
fear. "But on the plus side, I just saw a chip!! SCORE!!!"  
  
She grabbed it out of his hair. The chip was blue, but she ate it anyway. It had been a  
  
long day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Well thats some more stupid hair stuff, but I STILL haven't found room for Anzu's violent bloody death!! Shame but it will happen some time I swear. Yami- Kimera I tried to catch the Hondas but they put a horrible curse on me!!!! Kimera- Yami don't be such a baby, its just a Busted CD (Kimera snaps it in two) Yami- Aaaahhh, now I have no problems in the world!! Kimera- Well except for the hair situation..  
  
PLEEAASE review PLEEAASE!! I will do the next chapter when I escape from Yami and his harpoon gun.... 


	3. Is this still a halluniation? Ooops I f...

Hello reckless people who venture this far into my fic! This chapter is a bit rubbish but I am sue the next one will be better so KEEP READING and review!! Pllleeeeeessseee!!! Thanx to Chi Yagami and Yami-Aj Yu-Yu- InuCaptor and this chapter is for you guys cause I know you'll read it. Bakura's dumpster residence....  
  
Bakura was very bored. After all, what fun stuff is there to do in a dumpster? He had  
  
tried counting rubbish, bloodstains, squashed cockroaches on the ceiling, and that had  
  
entertained him for a couple of hours, but then he decided to stop mooching and do  
  
something worthwhile... like go on fan fiction.net. (yeeeeessssss) He went and  
  
poured himself a glass of something the bottle called 'Red 'n Delicious'. "I just love  
  
Red 'n Delicious!" he said happily. "I don't mind sparkling plasma, and I love that  
  
new coca cola vampire export, but my favourite drink just has to be Red 'n  
  
Delicious!!" After Bakura had finished this really interesting little speech to himself,  
  
he went and logged onto his computer. (How come Bakura has a computer? Who  
  
knows? He is a 5000 year old spirit who has no money. Consequently he has never  
  
even seen a computer, let alone the internet. So he has never been on fan fiction.net  
  
so the reason he was going on it now is a complete mystery. Never mind, its just  
  
another case of lazy fan fiction authors who want to get on to the bloody Anzu  
  
murders making computers appear in peoples dumpsters so the story works. What a  
  
mouthful. Must continue.)  
  
"Lets see, fanfiction.net, R rated!! Yaio, yuri, lemons, scandilous Japanese swearing  
  
and buhloooood!!! WHAT???!!!!! YAMI HAS HIS OWN STYLIST??!!! NO  
  
FAIR!!!!" Bakura, you see, had strayed out of the R section and into the PG-13,  
  
where he foolishly clicked on my fic (which he reviewed. HINT HINT!!!) The news  
  
that Yami had his own stylist was the most disturbing thing he had read so far.  
  
Bakura was very resentful of Yami's seemingly perfect hair which was so much better  
  
than his own permanent bad hair day. Sometimes he went to sleep with his head in  
  
the rubbish and dreamed of throwing cannonballs at Yami's hair, in the dreams it was  
  
rock hard and the cannonballs bounced off in glorius slow motion and hit him hard in  
  
the face, he would wake up with his head under a rubbish bin, laughing like a sugar  
  
crazed jackass.  
  
It was time to act. He grabbed his knife and a nearby cannonball and rushed out.  
  
Then he rushed back in and protectively grabbed the bottle of Red 'n Delicious. I  
  
mean, what if Malik came by and stole it?  
  
"Hey, that's not fair!!! Why does Bakura have a section in my story?!!! I demand  
  
you remove him THIS MINUTE!!!"  
  
"Er, Yami, this isn't your story, you know, didn't you read the summary?" said the  
  
stylist, snipping. "Here it is!!!" She shoved a grubby piece of paper in his face. "It  
  
says, 'random hair related incidents in the Yu-gi-oh, not 'Yami's private story about  
  
when his hair gets mutilated, killed and otherwise destroyed, no Bakuras allowed!!'  
  
But if it was your private story, you'd let me in, wouldn't you Yami darling??" she  
  
said, grinning. Yami couldn't see her her grinning because she was behind him,  
  
which was probably a good thing, two of her teeth were missing from when the last  
  
customer had punched her in the face after seeing his hair, meaning her grin was so  
  
ugly it would have stunned a charging Anzu.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAIR GETS MUTILATED, KILLED AND...  
  
WHAT ARE YOU DEOING TO IT??!!! WHERES A MIRROR??!!!!"  
  
"Sorry, this dumpster.. I mean salon has no mirrors" said the stylist. "I didn't have  
  
enough money to put them in."  
  
"Oh yeah? And yet you somehow have enough for a lifetime supply of Red 'n  
  
Delicious" said Yami, waving his hand at the endless red bottles behind the counter.  
  
"I know!!! And its so delicious!!" said the stylist, closing her eyes in ectasy and  
  
snipping off a huge spike of Yamis hair, which dropped like a stone and cracked the  
  
floor even more.  
  
"You do know it's blood, don't you?" asked Yami sardonically.  
  
"Blood? Oh.. well.. yeah." said the stylist, who was right now more worried about the  
  
floor. And a little bit about what Yami was going to say when he noticed the missing  
  
hair, but mostly about the floor.  
  
"I know, I'll stick it back on with Malik's hairgel!!" she thought. "Then I can do a  
  
very covenient advert at the same time, and I will get some floor money from the  
  
director!! Kill two Anzus with one harpoon gun!! I'm sooo clever!!!!"  
  
"Yeah right Kimera" the directors boomed out of the intercom. "I'm fed up with your  
  
lazy attitude!! Just for that, you have to advertise Anzus frienship water!! And no  
  
complaining!!!!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the stylist whos name was Kimera, and with one  
  
massive snip she sliced off the remains of Yami's hair, which broke the floor into  
  
shards. "OH SHIT!!!!" CUT!!! Hahahahahaha the stylist was me all along!!!! I'm so stupid hahahahahahahahah!!!!! The director's gonna kill me hahahahaha!!! Why am I laughing when I'm gonna die!! Answer, THAT HILARIUS PUN, GET IT, CUT!!!!!! Ok so that chapter wasn't that funny, nor did it have bloody Anzu deaths, but the NEXT chapter will I PROMISE!!!! And if it does not you can kill me if you get there before the director does. 


End file.
